Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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