She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
