we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize