the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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