Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
