Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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