you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
