Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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