READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
