That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
