Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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