please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize