Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do vagina's smell?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
