Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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