She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
