I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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