I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
