Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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