pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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