dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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