did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
