My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
