Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
