Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
