You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
