windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
