before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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