we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
