she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
