There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
