jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
