turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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