I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize