you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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