So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize