i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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