does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
