Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
