It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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