I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have feelings that need drinking.
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