hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
