The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
