then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
