return my video game
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
