dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
