I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
