I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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