just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
