boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i need some magic done to my vagina
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
