what day is it and did you see me today?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
