I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
