I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
