i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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