If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
