mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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