so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
