i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
