i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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