I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
my liver is dry heaving
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
