There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
