The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
