I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
