Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
