This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
